American dating an indian man
I grew up with movies like “Dil To Pagal Hai” and like any 90s Bollywood movie you see the following: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they smile, they know with a glance that they’re into each other, a few conversations and a very awkward, long hug later the hero and heroine are professing their love to each other.
Now this is all well and good while you’re growing up, but then you get older and start watching American rom-coms.
Talk to your parents about what it means to be in a relationship, and convince them that you are mature enough to do what they never had to do: dating in America as an Indian-American.
I have met too many guys afraid of commitment, too many girls afraid to admit that they just want to date around, too many of us who have no idea what to do because we don’t share the same reality as our parents.
How are we supposed to know what kind of person is “worth it” when our parents never really talked to us about it?
Why is the swan song of dating for first generation Indians in American so-damn-confusing? But what I do know is that, while it is not exactly “fair,” we have to approach the topics ourselves.
One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.” To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.
Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with.
In American love stories you find “the one” after dating other people, you find them after making mistakes and experiencing heartbreak.Elephant Beach on India’s Andaman Islands was not where I thought I would have to justify my life choices.Yet, there I was, feet dipped in clear water, staring into the horizon, trying to convince two middle-aged women whom I did not know that the man I was with was indeed my husband.Dating is weird for everyone, so let’s try to make it a little less weird by creating an open dialogue.
Good luck and may the is a recent Chemical Engineering graduate from the Illinois Institute of Technology.
Not only does our culture look down upon the concept of dating, but most Indians focus on the end goal and not the journey.